Yesterday I missed running the Green Bay Cellcom 1/2 Marathon for the first time in many years. A stubborn knee “issue” forced me to halt my training 7 weeks ago, and I still have not been able to run without pain. I even made a last ditch effort to see if somehow, I had experienced a miraculous recovery and would be able to pull it off.
Saturday morning, the day before the race, I laced up my shoes and went for a jog for the first time in a very, very long time. I felt good. I increased my pace. Hmmm…a little discomfort, but nothing serious. Just kinda “twingey” feeling. After the first mile, I began feeling a tad bit optimistic. It was time to try out my race pace. This was a necessity, as I suffer from this severe personality defect which prevents me from feeling any amount of accomplishment for merely finishing a race, even if there is an ultra-cool t-shirt involved. I need to RUN a race. Hard. Running at a pace slower than what I am capable of? Well, you get the point. Not acceptable.
Unfortunately this mind set didn’t even matter. As soon as I increased my pace, I experienced instant pain, a sharp stabbing pain, right under my kneecap. Discomfort I can handle, but I am getting old enough (dare I say wise enough) to understand that forcing the issue would most likely create an even longer setback. At this point, I knew. It wasn’t going to happen.
I cannot adequately explain the level of disappointment I felt when I finally admitted this to myself. Watching all the hype on TV left me feeling angry and frustrated. I found myself talking to the nice people on TV in a not so nice way. Compounding my feelings of disappointment, was the fact that a couple of coworkers would be running the race…without me. Enter green eyed envy monster.
Today, I am looking on the bright side (trying for the cup half full mentality) of my current situation. Time off of running has reminded me just how much I love to run. I miss it. However, I am spending more time strength training. That’s never a bad thing. Plus, I’m getting a lot of use out of my new bike! Also a good thing. And, my husband and I can workout together (as opposed to running, where we don’t, as one of us…ME!…runs a little longer and faster than the other). I like my husband a whole bunch, so spending time together is also, a really good thing.
And now for a bit of coincidence. As I was preparing to teach Free Verse Poetry to my students today, I ran (wink-wink…sense of humor is still intact), across this poem I had written last year. Rather timely, don’t you think? Hey 4:40! I can’t wait to see you again!
My Favorite Time of Day
4:38…
4:39…
4:40.
Taylor Swift’s voice
gently rouses me
out of a deep sleep.
I quickly slide
out of bed and
change into my running clothes
before I am alert enough
to think rationally
and climb back under the covers.
I
silently
creep
down
the
stairs,
not bothering to turn on the lights.
Mindlessly
I wiggle my feet
into my shoes,
tie them in a double knot,
stick my earbuds in my ears,
and find Pandora
on my phone.
I adjust my headband
over
my earbuds and
under
my ponytail,
grab my gloves
and head out the door.
The cold air
takes my breath away.
I pull up my Nike app,
hit “Start Run”,
and clumsily shove my phone into my back pocket.
It’s dark and peaceful.
Just the way I like it.
I settle into a comfortable pace
and get lost in my thoughts.
As I pass under the streetlights
by Riverside Park,
I become aware
of how cold I am.
Eager to get home
and jump in a hot shower,
I pick up the pace.
As I round the last corner,
I am greeted
by the soft pink hue
of the eastern sky.
Karen Hovie
March 2013
